I'm Here
by danie14
Summary: 3x17 alternative ending. What if Jay went home to find Erin waiting for him at his apartment after the episode left off with him crying in the locker room.
**Hey, so I thought the ending of 3x17 was lacking a bit, especially with Jay crying alone so I thought I would dig a little and write an alternative ending. I hope you guys enjoy. Please give me feedback and tell me what you think.**

 **For those that read my stories "Coming Home" and "The Secret", I will update as soon as I can, I'm just figuring some stuff out for those stories! Thanks for the patience :)**

 **Enjoy!**

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Jay knocked on the Hank Voight's door.

"Yeah, come in" Voight said putting his phone down.

"I just wanted to come in and say thank you, for keeping me on the case."

"Right now, you're going to take a week's medical leave."

"I appreciate it, but I'm fine. Really."

"It's not open for discussion."

He signed, but he knew his boss would not back down. On his way out of the office, he mumbled. "Thanks."

"I've been meaning to tell you, I'm lucky to have you in my unit."

Jay nodded surprised at his Sergeant's words as he headed towards the locker room. It was only hours ago when he was interrogating him about his relationship with his boss of his side job. Voight had deliberately asked him if he was sleeping with that woman. He could not believe Voight would even think that he would do anything to hurt Erin, or let her go after all he did to get her back after she entered her sabbatical not too long before that. He knew Voight was just being protective over his pseudo-daughter, but that didn't sting any less hearing him ask him if he was cheating on the love of his life. But all of this was the last thing on his mind. The events of the day were destroying him inside and he tried to keep in it as much as possible around his unit.

Until that point, he was good at controlling his emotions. But, he couldn't keep it in any second longer. With no one around, he grabbed the sink in the locker room and collapsed to the ground as he heavily cried.

He cried thinking about Terry and everything that occurred that day; about Terry's wife and how she was left husbandless and their son was left fatherless. Talking to Terry's wife was one of the hardest things he had ever done in his life.

It brought back painful memories of his time in the army, when he had to come home and face the wives and the families of those who didn't make it back. He couldn't bear to talk or even think about those memories.

He didn't know how long he was sitting there crying, but he knew it was getting late. He needed to go home and drink a beer and try to block out the day.

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He entered his apartment and headed straight to his kitchen. He put down his keys, badge, and phone on the counter and grabbed a beer from the fridge. After he saw the scotch on the counter, he put the beer back and decided to hit the harder liquor that night.

He poured himself some before he headed toward the living room where he found his beautiful girlfriend asleep on the couch waiting on him.

She was laying on her side, legs curled up sleeping peacefully. Jay smiled at the sight of his girlfriend and ran his hand through her hair before he kissed her cheek.

Instead of moving her, he laid a blanket on her body and sat down on the floor with his scotch in his hand.

He took a sip of the scotch as he stared down at his girlfriend. He turned the TV on and turned the channel to the game that was playing, but his head wasn't in it. He couldn't bring the picture of Terry dying out of his mind. He started heavily crying again.

Erin stirred as she heard crying. She slowly opened her eyes and her heart broke at the sight in front of her. She had never seen Jay Halstead in a more vulnerable state than that of that moment. Her heart broke for him.

Seeing him cry in the church already broke her in ways she didn't think was possible. All she had thought about is the fear that if anything ever happened to him, she would totally lose it. She couldn't lose him, nor did she have an idea that would help him get through this.

Tears formed in her eyes as she slowly ran her hand through his hair.

He got startled and turned around to face her. "Hey."

"Hey, baby." She replied as she gathered her legs and made room for him on the couch. "I'm here."

Jay nodded, set the scotch down on the table, and gathered himself to sit next to her on the couch. She wrapped her arms around him as he collapsed into her chest.

Erin felt wet tears soak her shirt as she ran her hands up and down her boyfriend's back, in an attempt to soothe him.

"You can talk to me." She said.

Jay sat up and looked into her eyes. "I can't believe he's dead, Er. His wife, she was pregnant. He was going to be a father, and now she's left husbandless and their son is left fatherless."

"I know," Erin said as tears streamed down her face. Instead of wiping her own, she wiped the tears falling down his cheeks.

"You know, the fires or action never scared me." Erin squeezed her boyfriend's hand for support, for him to carry on with his story. She knew it was hard for him to open up and she was so grateful that he was finally attempting to open up to her. "It was coming back and staring into the eyes of the wives and the families of those who didn't make it home." He stuttered and he couldn't continue. "I… can't. I'm sorry, Er. I just.."

"Hey, it's okay." She gave him a weak smile. "I completely understand. Thank you for trusting me with what you did share. It means a lot, Jay. It makes me love you more. The heart that you have for others, Jay, it's overwhelming." She did not understand how lucky she was to have Jay Halstead in her life.

"Come here." She said as she wrapped her arms around him once again.

"Can you stay with me tonight?" He asked.

"Of course." She said. "Let's go to bed, babe."

Jay nodded as he released himself from Erin's embrace and stood up. He grabbed the glass and dumped the remainder of the scotch he rarely drank.

Erin followed him to the kitchen and asked. "Are you hungry, I can heat up the takeout I brought."

"I don't have the appetite. Thanks though." He said.

She nodded and grabbed his hand and walked him to his bedroom.

"Do you need clothes?" Jay asked.

"Yes, please." Erin blushed. She didn't go home after work, she went to pick up some takeout and then headed to Halstead's. She knew he had some remaining work to finish, so she intended to wait for him. She knew how much he needed her tonight.

"Here's your usual Blackhawks t-shirt and your favorite sweatpants." Jay smirked as he threw them at her from across the room.

"You know how much I love your clothes." Erin smirked as she started to change into Jay's clothing.

It was only a matter of minutes before they were both in bed in each other's arms. She was protectively holding him with dear life because she knew how much he needed her tonight. He knew that he was nowhere near okay, but being in her arms created hope that he will get through this with her standing next to him.

"Thank you for being here and for waiting for me, Er. I really needed you tonight." He said.

"Always." She said as she crashed her lips against his. "Goodnight, Jay."

"Goodnight, Er." He said kissing the top of her head. "Oh and Erin.."

"Yeah." She replied.

"I love you, too." He said before they both dozed off to sleep.

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